just felt like postinz in my very own place... though ...thinking... is not supposed to exist anymore.. so i guess it doesnt really matter that i am postinz. .since no one will read it.. haha.. feeling sad.. for the past weeks.. feeling so lost.. not sure of what i want.. there's so much i desire in life.. and i know that i cant get everything i want.. i am not asking for everything.. but aint there nothing i can get?? i am feeling really really scared.. i feel that i am losting my friends one by one.. that's a very scary thought... nobody seems to want to hear my voice anymore.. nobody seems to understand me anymore.. i feel very alone..very very alone.. why?? can someone answer me???!!! i recieved two very special emails yesterday and today.. esp today.. it wasnt the kind of mass email.. but a personal mail from a friend.. it's very sweet.. i wonder how many people take that kind of trouble to look for someone's email... waiting for 2 replies that never came.. i am giving up waiting for it.. it's pretty disappointing.. to check ur mailbox.. and not find the thing you really want to see.. so i guess i dont really need the reply.. gtg...