i hate tuesdays. i hate fashion imaging. i adore terence, but i cant find myself smiling for his class and i'll do anything to miss his class. i hate fashion imaging. i think i have no flair for photography. i dont know anything about casting models, i dont know what's beauty, i dont know what's a beauty shot. i dont think i'll make it as a photographer, but i'll try.

doing some stuff requires courage. i told my group that i was fed up with people walking out on the group. i told them i was tired of all the mood swings in the group. i left the group, of course amicably. i dont want unhappiness coz of a project. i hope it's a decision i wont regret. i think i dont work too well with the people i am too close to. sighz.

i feel so tired of school. i think i say this too often. i dont wanna study. i just wanna sit in front of the tv all day. perhaps like auntie doris and uncle william, it's a time when i feel burnt out. there's this pressure to do well. not from my parents or anyone, but from myself. but i was never a creative person. and seems that i wont be. creative thinking was okay today. we submitted our work. peggy says mine's quite fine. peggy's so crazy today. she's so funny. she kept laughing and laughing. she didnt give us our project brief today, she wants us to have a good term break. peggy is extremely forgiving this semester. compared to applied illustration, i like her better in creative thinking. she's just soooooo cute.

i still havent got to a piano to practice. i think i am quite lousy at playing the piano too. i am just so uncreative. and so un-arty kind. i think i'll do quite well if i can watch tv all day.

they say stephen's hair stink. stephen is this guy in school who braided his hair. they say it costs alot of money to do it so people dont usually take it out very soon. but it's there for almost two months. imagine not washing your hair for two long months. it's disgusting. perhaps the hair is more suited for a more temperate climate. a tropical climate like ours just dont fit the hair. i am not getting anywhere near him.

joycelyn was very nice today. she dont usually talk to me. but i could even bring myself to sit near her today. things do change, dont they. it takes time to forgive sometimes. and i am glad that i did. everyone feels very nice today. there's the plaster guy who did the disco in class, everyone, in fact is every nice today. i wonder can everyday be like that.

i think i am too caught up with myself that i forgot some important stuff. i have decided to pay for my little coz's photography course. it's sunprint. we are gonna have fun in the sun. i'll probably be able to pick it up from books and it's part of alternative process so i'll probably get exposed to it in class. but i decided to take her there so she can make more friends and dont get cooped up in her little world. and i will drop by my grandparents house more often. to spend some time listening to them, especially grandma. i will try to call friends more often to find out if they are fine. i will not go back to the tuition job coz i will not be able to committ from april onwards.

i have decided to not go to school and i told madam chan already. perhaps it's easier to skip terence's alternative process then.

anywayz. have a great week. i know i will.