birthday list

+i believe in Jesus

i am real tired. didnt cry today! been crying so much lately. but bags unpacked and work undone.

thank yous. thank you for the prayers. to those who prayed for my grandma. thank you! to amanda, angelene and audrey who messaged, thanks lots too! i am real glad that it was nothing serious.

but the hospital is a vicious place. you can go in feeling just a bit unwell, but they can make you feel real bad and sick and miserable at the end. how inefficient is our hospitals and insincere are the doctors.

did a little thing for the iwc. if you guys like it, you better thank heng because i held him and his girlfriend up after their closing hours to print the stuff.

i wonder where did airhead boss lose her brains. with a ** boss, you get ** clients who give you ** jobs to do.

i hate cheryl from hpb. not hate but detest.

and please pray for the old grandma and grandpa that i mentioned in my previous post. please pray that they might find comfort in the Lord. shes been transferred to a nursing home. pray for patient nurses and healthcare workers. pray that the Lord will bless them with a loving relationship as well as good health. thank you.

got a little angry just now. but after talking to nice strangers, it didnt feel that bad. had a little arguement with mum. but at least i told her how i feel.

i wanna sleep. i will miss you.

thank yous.

+hates

i hate liars. i didnt ask you to do it. you didnt have to. but you promised and cant keep the promise.

i hate boss. she doesnt have a brain. she cant think and wants us to think for her.

i hate doctors who are mean to the patient. someone there is feeling so bad already. cant you just be nicer?

i hate doctors who expects every old person to have a heart attack before they die. my grandma did not have a heart attack!!!

i hate hospitals.

+emo

i almost cried. but i didnt.

thanks for prayers. i covet some more.

it pains me to see grandma in that pinky peachy "uniform". she aged so much each time i see her. but i am glad shes kinda fine. but shes not eating well and i hope she can sleep well. i feel like staying there tomorrow. maybe i talk to mum. we can work something out. it hurts to see her hands trembling and she cant hold heavy stuff. not that theres anything for her to carry but i know she wants to be independant. its hard not to feel sad when someone you know all your life is not feeling well. i hate the cycle of life. i love births and growing up. but i dont like growing old. yet i know we will all age and then its like a cycle, you go back to being fed and being cleaned. being moved around like a baby. whining and groaning to make yourself heard. soon you cant articulate then you cant think properly. maybe it doesnt happen to all old people. at least i dont want it to happen to the ones we love.

but i learnt a lesson about love today. theres this ninety years old couple. the grandma is in the bed opposite my grandma. she is very unwell i think. she needs a feeding tube and i think i know how comfortable it is and she has to wear this hot and uncomfortable mittens so that she doesnt remove her feeding tube. the grandpa needs to work. i think. cos he could only be there during lunch. she was uncomfortable. it was written all over her face. and there was nothing the grandpa could do, except for hold her mittened hands and gently touch her face. but it was so sweet. i wonder if i still live at ninety, will anyone sit beside me quietly and enjoy time with me. pray for this elderly couple will ya?

i cried.

silly me cried so much lately. it feels so weird to cry so much. but if you see that scene. i am sure you will feel sad.

+silly emo shirley. now i have no mood to draw.

+emo

i am sorry. silly me cried today. its kinda an emo past week. quieten down a bit and cried a lot. but at least i am not drawing silly morbid stuff. had lots in my head.

thanks rach.

some things are kinda redundant. sometimes. i am redundant. like today.

i think you guys did so well today. mel, shu, amanda, cass, audrey. i tried to follow the actions. hahahas. YOU ROCKS!

i deleted almost two hundred emails from my email accounts. sighs. theres just so much junk. somes not junk. i just dont like to read them.

i need to become taller. because my pants has became too long.

hahas. silly me needs to sleep. but i wanna watch the show at night.

i wanna do a long post today.

i am not going to ye next sunday. i am having camp. though not really keen to leave my small, messy but super comfortable and lovely home, i am going to camp for two to three days. because i need to be there for work.

i am lazy. i miss those lazy afternoon where i go shoot what i wanna shoot. i miss looking at the things i wanna see. i miss having lotsa time to appreciate God's good works. i dont wanna part with my money for slides because i am kinda broke, but i am afraid that there might be no more time. life is kinda unpredicable if you have yet to know.

so to make money. i have decided to, on top of my day job, give tuition. little money. lotsa work. but its still making my own money. and paying for the stuff i wanna do.

alot happened and it can get scary at times.

i.d.o.n.t.k.n.o.w.w.h.a.t.t.o.s.a.y.h.a.a.h.a.a.s.

actually s/l/a/s/h/e/s looks kinda nice.

i feel like eating japanese food. but for the next couple of days, it gotta be budget. esp after spending so much money today.

sometimes i dont know whether people really like me, or they just wanna use that time to make fun of me. tell me if you really love me.

i wanna laugh. have fun. enjoy. have a good time with the people i love. but its kinda difficult.

some things i dont understand. but live with it, shirley.

i am kinda speechless now.

anyone wanna buy blackwhite polaroid and blackwhite 120s? still got some. not doing photog next sem. bleh. will a hasselbald fall from the sky. maybe a leica? how about a holga. an LCA would be really nice.

was thickskinned. asked madam chan to help get stuff from me for europe. oops. but i will pay her back. since i cant get to travel then let me collect souvenirs from around the world then. anyways thanks madam chan for the dinner treats. and its really cool working with a senior that is one of the top of the cohort and still so humble and kind. this kinda people. where to find?

daddy. i love ya.

i miss that white hair funkeh old man. dont see him around for a while. when was the last time? during some exhibition. bleh. old man. where are you? back to the philipines?

am going for FOP. i think. hope to. yea! however more keen to go for sonicfest. but every year the response from ye is back. they always go for the hillsong stuff. hahas.

GSS. i need to buy stuff. shopping anyone?

i have written enough for the whole week.

leave a comment if you are here.

Your love has captured me. Your grace has set me free. Your life, the air I breathe. Be glorified in me.
(Repeat)

You set my feet to dancing. You set my heart on fire. In the presence of a thousand kings. you are my one desire. And I stand before you now. With trembling hands lifted high. Be glorified.

Your love has captured me. Your grace has set me free. Your life, the air I breathe. Be glorified in me.

Be glorified in me, Be glorified in me, Be glorified in me, Be glorified.

(repeat)

You set my feet to dancing. You set my heart on fire. In the presence of a thousand kings. you are my one desire. And I stand before you now. With trembling hands lifted high. Be glorified.

this song kinda kept ringing in my head. if you can sing it, will you sing for me the next time i see you? please?
+silly me wont cry the next time. *grins.

+dont wish to end

dont wanna end the post. hahas. thank yous! i am going jogging today. finally! yeah

i am kinda sad that the artist liu kang has passed away. not that hes a major influence on me, but...

doing math now. will come back later.

+silly me wants to continue..
yah. liu kang wasnt really a major influence to me, but somehow that sense of loss is felt. perhaps hes been around for so long and whats more, the first artist i researched on is him, then my next favourite, egon schiele then the last is jackson pollock. hes one cool man. tragic that he died young. theres the other famous men and women in between, but i am sure you dont want to know.

to angelene: hope we werent irritating. we had fun. enjoyed ourselves. hope you did too.

am tired. emotionless. got a plan. will bring my camp stuff to work on friday, then to FOP, then to grandmas place then to camp the next morning. i miss my grandmama and grandpapa.

shower then off to bed.

enjoy your hols, my dear kids. and amanda, how are you?