birthday list

+what makes me happy

time alone, God, drawing

making prints are not as fun as before. i used to be scared to go to the darkroom because of seniors. now i have no motivation.

i make bad decisions a lot of time. i think i am a contrary person. next time, whenever i feel excited to say yes. i should say no. because thats how it will turn out eventually.

i am still the sadist that i am.

normally i dont know what makes me sad. today i know.

waste//

i shall resolve to go out less. like i say, i dont quite like meeting people. maybe thats why i dont call people quite often. maybe except you. i am dying to meet ya. i miss ya lots.

i am not a going out kid. i am a mummys girl. will stay home more.

and i wanna take cab all day. i hate buses and mrts. so i gotta make money. should go for the interview. but wanna draw more first. sighs. sixty to hundred twenty for an illustration is good money. good. if i can do two/month. then i wont have to give tuition. how nice.

though the sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning

i hope so. morning is near.

i hate you.

+thanks yous

thanks angelene for the treat. and thanks kinsing. i had a nice time walking around with ya. i am sorry that the over-hyped fake angmoh guy exhibition is kinda disappointing. hahas

i like it when salespeople knows their stuff. thank you to the one at times@suntec city. its nice to know in an instance that the book i want is not there. and also to the lady who helped me order shaun tans the red tree at kinokuniya.

i realised that you could be right. saying lots of thanks and sorrys in my blog. hahs. thats just me. feeling immensely grateful to the Lord for all the kind people.

i like this song.

Sunny Days
Jars of Clay

Sunny days keepin' the clouds away
I think we're coming to a clearing and a brighter day

So far away. Still I think they say
The wait will make the heart grow stronger or fonder
I can't quite remember anyway

So if you're waitin' for love
Well it's a promise I'll keep
If you don't mind believing that it changes everything
Then time will never matter

Winter, Spring... is what love can truly bring
Ice turns to water, water flows to everything
You can lose your mind, maybe then your heart you'll find
I hope you won't give up what's moving you inside

If the car won't start, when you turn the key
When the music comes on, all your cold, cold heart can do is skip a beat

It's a promise I'll keep
When you're waitin' for love
If you don't mind believing that it changes everything
Then time will never matter

+i got a stomachache

i am sorry for the rant in the morning. when things dont work the way we want, we will get upset. i will. things really screwed up this morning and i got really really upset. i even missed my stop on the way to school. peggys class today is like mr sams class on tuesday. it started an hour late. not that i minded. i laughed so hard in class till i got stomachache. we watched animations and cartoons in class today. really nice. for two whole hours. and i didnt have to tear from my sketchbook. peggy excused me to photocopy it before handing it in. i am so thankful. and i am equally thankful to the lady who went back to the shop to photocopy for me. and to mr sam who excused me from being late for his class. thank you very kind. i had a bad fall in my haste to hand it in and to make it to mr sams class in time. i bruised my arm, my finger and my knees. now my back hurts and my shoulders ache. thankfully. no one saw me so i was spared from the embarassment. mr sams class was usual. he talked a lot. we listened. and did some stuff. stuff we did two years back in kins class. i cant hold my pencil properly now that my finger hurts. sighs. i guess God is there when things dont go the way we want to and he makes everyone and everything special to make up for the pain.

what we watched today
+the beatles yellow submarine
+aeon flux
+southpark
+parts of triplets in belleville

impressive illustration and animation. whoa~

we all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow marine

+angry

no. those bitches cant irritate me till today. i am angry with myself. i braved the wind, heavy rain and the air con and nasty bus driver to scan my work. but alas, it didnt quite work out. i hate pc. pc are the dumbest computers ever invented. if you cant agree, its because you have yet to use a mac. i promise i will try very hard not to use a pc anymore once i get mantou up and running. now i am cold cos i am still wet. but i dont wanna change. maybe i can get sick and not go for peggys class. maybe she didnt need us to print it out. if we need to hand it in, i guess i will just have to tear it out from my sketchbook. i am going to cry. but my eyes are already swollen.

+to the bitches

yes. i wear armani glasses. i dont mind you looking cos you probably cant afford them i guess, looking at the way you stared.

and yes. my sketchbook is expensive. if you ask nicely, i will tell you where to get them.

and i got really nice colour pencils. if you beg me, i might consider letting you smell them.

snapple pink lemonade probably has been there for ages. i remember drinking them every two or three days when i was younger and richer. and no, pink lemonade is not cute. i believe you are one of those who wears pink and try to look kawaii in orchard.

i think you are gays. and frankly speaking. i dont like gays.

yah. i am drawing. i am illustrating ians poem. if you are not happy, you can choose not to look.

and for goodness sake. yogurt is yogurt. and yogurt dont become smoothies unless they are made that way.

i was sitting happily at pacific coffee doing my illustration. and two bitches sat beside our table and starting commenting. they are the nicely-dressed-cant-stand-you-badly-dressed kinda people. and i am the i-have-got-money-who-cares-that-i-am-in-my-flip-flops-in-cityhall kinda person. so theres a conflict of interest here. and apparently they probably thought that i cant afford armani glasses so they were there commenting on my glasses and everything else about our table. since they like commenting and looking over so much, i mimicked their actions. and soon after, thankfully, they left. what bitches they. and worse. they are men. i mean, gays. they are the kind of people whose parents taught them manners but due to their ignorance, they cannot learn it thus they cannot treat people with respect.

wanna play with mantou&buns. but cos i cant finish my homework, i have decided that they should be kept away. sighs. i like thursdays. from year one days. theres peggys class and meteor garden II on thursdays. hahas.

+tired

hey people. i love you!! but could you kindly refrain from calling before ten in the morning.

+sorry

lunch was really bad.

ian/ i am going to illustrate your poem (: will make an extra copy for ya. hope i get what you wanna say with the poem.

The Gift Of Time

All I ask is for one year -
Twelve months
To watch the seasons change.

All I ask is for one month -
Four weeks
To live, love, work and play.

All I ask is for one week -
Seven days
To learn our songs by heart.

All I ask is for one day -
Twenty-four hours
To have you by my side.

All I ask is for one hour -
Sixty minutes
To dance with you again.

All I ask is for one minute -
Sixty seconds
To hear your whispers fade.

All I ask is for one second -
My chance
To say to you, "Goodbye."

+emo

mantou&buns are home. still at grandmas place. all my stuff seems to have to stay at grandmas place for a while before they can come home. from honey at 16, xiaoqiang at 17, ming at 18 to mantou&buns at 19. i ran up to a debt of fiveK. and i realised that to take another loan, i will have to repay this loan first.

grandmas not quite well. but she cooked mei cai kou rou for me today cos i asked her to cook for me. kinda tasty but a tad too salty. i can eat it everyday and for every meal. hahas. grandpa stuffed twenty bucks to me today again. i owe a lot of what i have to my moms family. i thank God for this family. grandpa is this charismatic old man who makes me smile, grandma taught me a lot of things.

theres money problem at home now. not really. then again. i dont know whats happening. bro starting school too. my parents gonna pay two set of school fees for tertiary education.

i wanna see john clang. the fake angmoh. hahas. the evil one and i were laughing about it. we were watching trailers in the studio today. i wanna watch thirteen going thirty. but i will just watch the pirated stuff. unless any kind soul would like to treat me to the movies.

how sad. we got time for everyone else but each other. hey.imissya.

i think i need french tuition. if i pass french. i will buy ian dinner. actually i will treat you even i dont pass. you have been such great help. but not too expensive lah. y'noe, the swensen range. hahas. i get scared when jerome calls out my name in class. i am scared to go for advertising campaign tomorrow. i am scared to see madam chan.

dear God, help me to seek You with all my heart. help me to trust in You with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding. help me to acknowledge You in all my ways. help me to find some time alone to make some decisions. help me to draw with joy in my heart. Amen.

school has been tough. because i feel lost. and i am not a creative person. i do not fulfill the criteria of the school: a creative thinking designer.

nah~ i am not sad.

we had a good time laughing at the wannabes and the mats today. its kinda insulting. but they are funny and you just cannot help but laugh. we talked to tia about moses. actually i think we talk to everyone about moses except maybe kristine. because shes pro-moses. sheesh. damn project.

damn. i really gotta work harder in school.

time to send out a sarcastic and insulting email. time to smile. then to study french and do my expressive illustration.

+ha ha ha

shoot me